David you made me cry a little today. For my wee self and for my Dad. We rarely had moments like this growing up, but curiously when I was going through a difficult and painful time a few years back and needed solace he was there. He held me in his arms and took away the hurt.
This poem really captures the essence of being there for someone you love. The transition to normal, everyday activities at the end highlights how love can help us move forward. Beautifully done, David!
What a beautiful and effective close, such a sweet and difficult piece. It’s so hard to just be with someone who is hurting, especially a child. Also, you have a beautiful reading voice!
Wow Brian, thank you. Yes certainly at such a young age I find that most of the time its just about being there and holding.. time and patience is a great healer.
The reading part is a new step for me in this season, getting used to it and actually trying to get a bit more expressive if I can - I think in these first few poems and prose I will be finding my way but its all about practice. Thanks for the kind words of encouragement.
There is a balance of cadence, tone and expressiveness. I actually think cadence and tone are the keys (at least I think that today). Over expressing turns a poem into theater. Not a bad thing, but it can overshadow the words. I like what you have!
I love this:
“Her rapid thumping heart
On me, becomes us.”
Thanks for your comment and for reading, Margaret. Means a lot!
On second read, love this line even more!
I'm just getting cosy in your words and then it's up and off again in the last line. Perfect glimpse into a parents & child's world.
Ha yes exactly! Every tender moment is followed by a finger jammed in your eyelid and drool and running into a wall.
It a beautiful cyclical rhythm.
So true. My 10 year old announced she was taking a day off from playing today. It's tough work being a kid!
'The deeper breaths, in gasps
Relent to quiet sated hearts,
As torment cedes to silence'
"Stilled in our love." How much just loving can change things.
Absolutely! Thanks for reaching out.
Beautiful poem, David! Children can bring out the very best in us.
They sure can!
David, I love this. “ Her sadness soaks in and I will hold it all”. Parents understand this. I feel her relief.
Thanks so much Gayle! Yes, and its unconditional - just sort of exists as a given which is a fantastic and otherworldly feeling.
So beautiful, I listened to you as I read, so as not to rush it, and it was stunning. Love it
Amazing. The audio is a new thing for me on the posts so its really great to get that feedback. Thank you!!
David you made me cry a little today. For my wee self and for my Dad. We rarely had moments like this growing up, but curiously when I was going through a difficult and painful time a few years back and needed solace he was there. He held me in his arms and took away the hurt.
“Her sadness soaks in,
And I will hold it all,”
Thank you for this staggeringly beautiful poem.
Wow! Delighted it connected so deeply with you! Thanks so much for sharing that with me. 🙏🙏
This poem really captures the essence of being there for someone you love. The transition to normal, everyday activities at the end highlights how love can help us move forward. Beautifully done, David!
Wow i think you summed it up really nicely there. Thanks for reading and dropping by to say hello!
What a beautiful and effective close, such a sweet and difficult piece. It’s so hard to just be with someone who is hurting, especially a child. Also, you have a beautiful reading voice!
Wow Brian, thank you. Yes certainly at such a young age I find that most of the time its just about being there and holding.. time and patience is a great healer.
The reading part is a new step for me in this season, getting used to it and actually trying to get a bit more expressive if I can - I think in these first few poems and prose I will be finding my way but its all about practice. Thanks for the kind words of encouragement.
There is a balance of cadence, tone and expressiveness. I actually think cadence and tone are the keys (at least I think that today). Over expressing turns a poem into theater. Not a bad thing, but it can overshadow the words. I like what you have!
Profound! Thanks for sharing!! XO
Thanks so much Danielle for reading :)